My Covid Nightmare

My Covid Nightmare Audio

Well we all seem to be in a big mess. I must sit in front of the TV for the entire day and watch The News people predict the end of the world.

I can say with complete candor that we here at the Gleason home practice total social distancing. I have not seen my wife and daughter in 9 weeks, I hope they are well. I wear my mask and gloves all day specially to change the channel on the TV with the remote.

My day consists of waking up, eating breakfast, watching tv, eating lunch, watching tv, dinner, more tv and then bedtime.  I have been eating so much that I joined Weight Watchers.

I also read lots of books on politics. However they get to be depressing. I need to stop.

 I watched the final episode of “Homeland.” One of my favorite shows.  Spoiler alert…. I can wait. Ok, So Carrie, after not killing Saul flies to Beirut in record time and finds out the name of the American spy who then kills herself. A nuclear war is averted, and the American President is made to look like an idiot.

Finally, Carrie now decides she will become a spy again and she takes up with her new boyfriend a sexy Russian spy who just happens to be the same guy who held her captive in Russia without her bi-polar meds in the end of Season 7. There I just saved you many hours of TV watching.

With no new Sports I been forced to watch a few old favorites. I have watched the Kirk Gibson Home run 6 times. The New York Giants defeating the New England Patriots when a guy caught a ball with his helmet instead of his hands.

I also have been looking on-line for a possible career change. Could be a long time for the theatres to open. I found this on line at craigslist.

“Local Cannabis Church is Hiring Ministers and Budtenders!!!” 

“H3 Ministries is a non-profit, open faith ministry, cannabis church & wellness center. We embrace cannabis as sacrament, meaning we use it as the defining element of our personal path of spiritual growth, healing, consciousness, and our pursuit of a personal relationship with the creator. We also provide cannabis as sacrament to the members of the congregation. We are currently looking to hire ministers (budtenders) to pass out sacrament.”

Being a Catholic I could definitely pass out the sacrament!

“Minister or Budtender Requirements”
– Experience in the cannabis industry
– Clean/professional appearance
– Strong verbal & interpersonal skill

– Must use cannabis

I feel I must meet these people!

I have been having this horrible nightmare.  It opens with me and Brad Pitt playing beach volleyball. Brad is killing me and he says, “Let’s go to Walmart. I need some golf balls”. I say, “I need some stuff myself”.  The Walmart is gigantic and everyone is wearing masks and gloves. I have a shopping list and the first thing on the list is tires. So I go to the auto section and fill my cart with 4 tires. Then ice cream, so I buy all the ice cream in the store and then head for the cashier. Brad puts his golf balls in my cart and goes back to the car.

Of course, the Express line for 10 items is closed and with the 4 tires and the 30 boxes of ice cream I can’t use the Express anyway, so I get in a regular line. Just 3 people are in front of me so I wait. The lady at the check out is an expert on coupons. She has a coupon file, and every item is taken care of by coupons. She also is debating with the cash register guy about the value of each coupon. I decide to move to a shorter line.   Only one person at the register, just a couple of items, I will be out of here in no time. Except, that person is Donald Trump and he is paying in cash and they don’t have enough money. Don and Melania are going through everything-her purse, his pants pockets and Don is screaming at the store clerk that everything is too expensive. Then the salesclerk starts to pull things back of course with the Melania’s approval. Don says “No not that, I gotta have my beer. Take the tomatoes out.

 Of course, the line I was on first, with the coupon lady, has now turned into the fastest line in California. Not only is the guy who was behind me out of the store but so is the lady who was behind him. Finally, Don and Melania come up with a negotiation that works, and everything is paid for. However, all there stuff is in plastic bags. So, they want everything double bagged. They have enough money for double bags and beer but no money for tomatoes. I finally get to the check out and I wake up. Oh well, time for breakfast.

5 thoughts on “My Covid Nightmare”

  1. seems like we’re all in the same boat – & the boat appears to be leaking. when, oh, when does sanity return?


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